This earthly place is not my home...

“For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.” II Corinithians 5:1

It seems as though my husband and I have been on a never ending search for “home.” We spent the first years of our marriage outside of the Lord’s will for our life. (I use the singular term for life here because I believe that when you marry the person that the Lord created for you, you live a “life.” You are bound together and no longer lead separate lives.) The Lord had to break us because we were stubborn, we still are but more so stubborn to do the Lord’s will for our life. We know what it’s like to live outside of the will of God and it’s not something we would wish upon anyone.

Through the broken times in our life, my husband heeded the Lord’s call to preach. In our naïve minds, we thought we would go right into pastoring a church. Boy, were we wrong. Five years later and we are still waiting, having grown so much in our faith and perseverance through some troubling times. We’ve learned a lot of lessons, many about what not to do. My point is that we are still waiting, and sometimes waiting seems like it will never end. We will never get “home.” Home to where people love and accept us for who the Lord created us to be. Somewhere that we have friends who support us. I’ve been thinking about those things a lot lately. “Why don’t I have a friend to turn to?” We can get bogged down in woe is me. For me, lately,  it’s been way to easy to think woe is me.

My weakest moments are when the Lord really reveals himself to me, which is no surprise to those of you who follow the Lord. Sometimes, or in my case a lot of times, we have to be weak and human and broken to truly pay attention to what the Lord is trying to show us. What the Lord is showing me is that I will never feel like I’m home, no matter where I go on this earth, no matter how centered in God’s will I am. My home is not here on earth. The longing I feel to go “home” is Heaven calling me. I’ve finally realized I need to stop looking for home here on earth because it is an unending task, I’m not going to find it. I will not be home until I stand in Heaven in the presence of my Lord. 

I’ve also realized that I need to allow the Lord to be my best friend. I need to turn to him when I need support. He’s the perfect best friend. I should go to Him because there’s no one else qualified to be my best friend. I also need to be grateful for the people who do support me. My husband is truly my best earthly friend and that’s the way it should be. My husband and I are one, we share the hurts and joys of our life. Lately, I find myself talking to my dad every day. I’ve come to share almost everything with him. He’s been there and always listens and gives advice. I know that he will also be honest with me if he thinks I’m going outside of the Lord’s will.  I also have my son, who is far wiser than he should be, considering he’s only been on this earth for 10 years. I have the privilege of homeschooling him and teaching Bible has been so very humbling. Most days  I’m not sure who is the teacher, I learn so much from him and often hear the Lord speaking to me through that kid.

So in the woe is me moments, let's turn to the Lord for comfort and peace.